The Heart Get No Sleep
by Moreadhiel1992
Summary: With the constant reminder of war and death, Christmas of 1979 is not looking so bright.


An excerpt from a scene I wrote for my James/Lily story (unpublished). This has been sitting in my file for over 3 years, so I thought I would share it. Happy holidays!

Monday, 24 December 1979

The drawing room fire flickered; it's dim light dancing on the walls. Though everyone else had already gone to bed, Remus sat in his favorite armchair rereading the book that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had given him for Christmas two years previous: _Hairy Snout, Human Heart._ This was the book Remus always turned to when he was feeling depressed due to his Lycanthropy.

If it weren't for his repulsive disease, perhaps she would still be with him today. A tear threatened to escape, but Remus quickly suppressed it. Normally he was Dorcas' raid partner, however, the night she was taken hostage also happened to be the full moon. That night Benjy Fenwick had replaced him. Not that Benjy had been an incompetent fighter, no. But, Remus would never stop asking himself if the turnout would have been different had he been by Dorcas' side instead.

Closing the book, Remus set it on the small table next to his chair. Everyone, that is everyone who had survived another year, was gathered at the Potter's. It would always be the Potter's even though Mr. and Mrs. Potter had not survived the year. Their death, caused by old age and sickness, was not as devastating as the others. Just weeks earlier the whole McKinnon family had been wiped out, and the Bones' weren't faring well either. He was just about to proceed to bed when he heard soft footsteps making their way down the stairs.

Remus quietly drew his wand in the supple light, maintaining his seat in the corner of the room. After waiting a few seconds the door to Remus' sitting room was pushed open cautiously admitting Andromeda's six-year-old daughter Nymphadora. Remus gave a small sigh of relief putting his wand away once more.

The girl jumped at Remus' sigh, her electric blue hair paling for a moment before returning to normal. She had not expected anyone to be in the room.

"It's just me," Remus said, standing up and moving into better light. "What are you doing up at this time of night?" he questioned lightly. It was around three in the morning after all.

The girl gave a slightly guilty look. "I just couldn't sleep," she said at length.

Remus smiled gently, "I couldn't sleep either."

Taking a seat on the sofa, much closer to the warmth of the fire, Remus patted the seat beside him. Climbing onto the couch Nymphadora stared into the fire. "Would you like to tell me why you can't seem to sleep?" he asked the young girl. Nymphadora shook her head, but proceeded to crawl onto his lap.

"I had a nightmare," she whispered, a few tears making their way down her face. Remus lifted his hand intending to wipe them away, but drew the girl into a sheltering hug instead. "He killed them," she finally sniffed against his chest, "He killed them…" Remus was silent, not knowing exactly what he should say to the child.

After about fifteen minutes, when the girl had calmed down, Remus swept the hair away from her face. "Nymphadora?" he asked in a low voice.

"Dora…" she mumbled turning her head into the crook of his neck.

"What?" Remus asked, his heart rate accelerating slightly.

"I don't like the name Nymphadora. Just call me Dora," was the groggy reply he got.

Remus closed his eyes letting the unwanted tears fall once again. He completely forgot that he was about to suggest that Nymphadora head back to bed.

Dora had been his special nickname for Dorcas, one that no one else used, and now Dora was gone forever. Remus did not think he wanted to live any longer himself. There was no point going on without the woman he loved by his side.

After a while he heard faint snores coming from the girl. Unwilling to wake the small child on his lap Remus twisted as smoothly as possible lifting his legs onto the sofa. Leaning back against the arm of the piece of furniture, Remus resigned himself to sleeping there for the night. Within minutes he had fallen into the most peaceful night of rest he had gotten since Dorcas' death.


End file.
